Forgiveness: Overcoming the Impossible
Inspirational Words of Wisdom. Forgiveness Quotes Page 2 Forgiving others is a practice we should all do more of, it can change your life to one of frustration to one of peace. The truth that each and every person has sinned and fallen short reminds us that everyone has a substantial debt they cannot pay.
We need to give and take, forgive and forget. If you want to have friends, be one to start with.
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Forgiving has set me free. I like them because they always forgive. Say comforting things to yourself and tell yourself that a mistake or two do not define you in any way. Through Jesus, He forgives our sins when we don't deserve it and have no way to earn it. Instead, practice forgiveness, empathy and encouragement. He extends His pardon to all who trust in Him and receive His free gift of salvation.
I learned over the next several years that it is not that easy. I had to be in charge of my own life, no matter how unmanageable it seemed to be. Our counselor took a common-sense approach to helping us. We discussed psychological causes and reasons for sin, but we also discussed accountability. We talked about the Atonement and the miracle it can work.
We discussed scriptures and characters from the scriptures. He asked about our children and talked to them once or twice. He asked about employment Sam had been fired as a result of his confession and other concerns. He challenged Sam several times to continue to take responsibility for what he had done.
He spent hours helping me face the reality of what had happened. He also encouraged me to be a responsible mother and to continue to support my children emotionally through this upheaval. At times I went home upset or angry, but often I went home with a new story or idea in my head to mull over. I had several dreams during this period that I believe were from God and were meaningful and powerful. They helped me discover some truths and clarify my understanding of the forces at work in my life, helping untie some emotional knots.
Good medical care helped me survive. At one point I took antidepression medication for a few months.
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The doctor warned me that the medication was to keep me from sinking too deeply into depression and that it could not solve my problems. He reminded me that there were real causes for my sadness and that I had to keep working on making sense of my life in order to be truly happy again. Medication alone could not do it. My Church responsibilities helped stabilize my life. I had dear friends who worked with me in my calling and cared about what I was going through. I found myself in training meetings and other special settings listening with a hungry soul and drinking in the spiritual refreshment I needed.
In addition, my responsibilities forced me to keep some order and social connections in place. My bishop had a gift for wise counsel and for empathizing with my misery. He also gave me several priesthood blessings. As it turned out, that process required several years of my utmost commitment, extended effort, and acceptance of the realities of my situation. Strengthened by the Spirit, I was gradually able to rely less on my bishop and counselor and more on the scriptures, prayer, and on the Lord.
More than at any other time of my life, I began to find answers and counsel in the scriptures.
I was surprised at how I was given very specific and pointed guidance. One particular selection in the scriptures guided me past an especially confusing conflict. Heavenly Father can indeed speak to us through the scriptures.
The Missing Piece in Forgiveness : Kate Gardner :
I was taught see Isa. It was the most difficult decision of my life, but feeling it was right, I went ahead confidently, although worn out emotionally. At this point some support from family and friends crumbled, so having inner, spiritual support was very important to me. Our divorce, however, did not release me from the obligation to forgive. I truly wanted to do it, but it was as if I had been commanded to do something of which I was simply incapable. Or do I need to give up this relationship to meet my core needs, including needs for safety and trust?
The ongoing behavior of the offender is key here. How can we overcome the barrier of self-protection?
In other words, people sometimes have understandable fears that offering forgiveness will be mis interpreted by the offender as evidence that they can get away with the same behavior again. People very often need to learn they have the right to set and enforce legitimate boundaries in a relationship. Forgiveness can also involve not being in a relationship with the offender any longer or changing the rules and power dynamics for continuing the relationship. Sit comfortably, allowing your eyes to gently close. Focus your attention on your breathing. This person could be a dear friend, a therapist, a teacher, a spiritual figure, your own wiser self.
Imagine yourself sitting with this person face-to-face. Visualize the person looking at you with acceptance and tenderness, appreciation and delight. Feel yourself taking in his or her love and acceptance of you.
Forgiving When It Seems Impossible
Now imagine yourself being the other person, looking at yourself through his or her eyes. See in yourself the goodness the other person sees in you. Savor this awareness of your own goodness. Now come back to being yourself. You are in your own body again, experiencing the other person looking at you again, with so much love and acceptance. Notice how and where you feel that love and acceptance in your body — as a smile, as a warmth in your heart — and savor it.
Take a moment to reflect on your experience. You are recovering a positive view of your own self again. Set the intention to remember this feeling when you need to.
Forgiveness: Overcoming the Impossible
We will protect ourselves from feeling inner shame in many ways, which may include a reluctance to forgive. Who is most likely to experience face concerns? People who feel their self-worth has been diminished by the offense, or who experience a threat to their sense of control, belonging, or social reputation, or even feel a need for revenge, are more likely to experience the face concerns that could block forgiveness. How can we overcome the barrier of face concerns?